I wrote this post in early January 2017 but still was hesitant to publish it straight away. I was trying to find the right words and was worried about how it might be received by people or whether I would own my emotions in this post. I didn’t want for people to get the wrong idea toward Jesus and Mary. But I’ve realised me not saying anything while I’m deciding may do more damage, so with some adjustment I’m just going to post a shortened version of it now:
Here is a very brief update of what has been happening in my life lately, related to my involvement with Divine Truth production.
Toward the start of 2017, Jesus and Mary have asked me not to be involved in Divine Truth video production. They were very direct but caring and loving, explaining all the reasons behind their decision. There were ongoing attitude problems (error emotions) on my part, that could not be tolerated much longer. Unfortunately, some restrictions had to apply towards me, evoked by my stubbornness to having no desire to see and deal with my issues.
Jesus and Mary’s actions are based on people’s intentions and desire for self-reflection rather than being perfect in everything
I brought this situation upon myself. I’m actually terrified of admitting that I have nasty emotions inside. I judge them and therefor try to avoid experiencing them. I did not think that it is going to be that hard for me to face all the emotional crap and hurt that I carry around all the time. It is my parents who put them in my soul, but it is me who keeps them there and the longer I avoid facing them the more unloving actions I’m going to take and consequentially the more difficult my life becomes. That is the lessons for us all. Law of compensation is not going to wait for nobody it is going to squeeze those emotions out of you sooner or later. The other choice is to open yourself up to feedback from God, other people, environment and admit to yourself that I am unloving when I am unloving, only then I can go deeper emotionally and see the reasons how and why.
But that is not me at the moment. I’m still struggling to see EVERYTHING about me from Gods perspective and want to keep my opinions. That attitude stops me from positive change in my life. It effects my marriage, it effects my work and relationship with others and that is why the (restriction) line had to be drawn with me at this stage. That is what God does, we make good choices life expands, we make unloving choices we are restricted.
It is an unfortunate fact that if I won’t change – I force people who are more loving around me to set restrictions for me, otherwise if I’m in the wrong from Gods perspective I will not recognise my wrong doing and will not learn to be accountable for my choices.
It is an unfortunate fact that if I won’t change – I force people who are more loving around me to set restrictions for me
I tell you what people, you will be surprised how quickly emotions shoot up when one is restricted, it is actually very helpful for your progression. Everything you sitting on will stir up all at once, façade will crack. You will either run away screaming with froth in your mouth or face the music, as they say. I’m doing a bit of both at the moment while summing up the courage to face it all. Once I improve my attitude towards feedback and my desire for change improves, I would love to get back into helping Divine Truth grow on earth, I see no task more important than that.
I intend to go into more details on specific injuries and how I am dealing with them in future posts, as each emotional injury deserves its own post.
you will be surprised how quickly emotions shoot up when one is restricted, it is actually very helpful for your progression
I love Jesus and Mary very much. There are times though when I slip into blame toward them for exposing something in me or me not understanding things and that is not love. They have been very kind to me over the years and I thank them for that. Jesus and Mary are two very special people in my life as maybe they are for you as well. They opened so many possibilities and potentials for me to explore and most importantly they opened my eyes to a journey toward God, and I am grateful for that.
Bye for now